PAST-PRESENT-FUTURE

Let us not look back in anger,

 or forward with fear,

 but around us in awareness

                                   -  James Thurbun

The pivotal point of balance within the past–present–future dimension is the present moment.   For optimal self-awareness, health, and growth, it is necessary to accept ourselves and our life circumstances exactly as they are in the here-and-now.  There are various reasons why this may be difficult to do.

Dissatisfaction with ourselves or suddenly being faced with overwhelming life circumstances can cause us to “escape” from our bodies, feelings, and/or the present moment by frequently “reminiscing” about the past or “fantasizing” about the future.  Past trauma, abuse, and unresolved family-of-origin issues can also cause an imbalance on this dimension, resulting in too much “reliving” of the past or too much “planning” for the future.

Living too much in the past or the future is often a sign that our connection with our core self has weakened or never fully developed.  Disconnection with the self can be the result of chronic minor injuries to the self while growing up or because of past traumatic incidents that have not been fully integrated yet.

When we haven’t fully integrated a past event into our core self, our minds, bodies, and spirits may revisit the incident through dreams, flashbacks, memories, and strong emotional reactions in an attempt to work through the residual feelings.   This is difficult to do alone and feelings often alternate from guilt to blame to shame to anger without much relief or healing.

Numbing or pushing these feelings aside may work in the short-run, but can produce a problematic imbalance in the feelings–thoughts–behavior dimension in the long-run.  Consequently, we may become disconnected from our core self and life energy, and experience intimacy blocks, writer’s block, creative, and other performance blocks. 

We may also deal with unresolved past issues by becoming too future-oriented and too afraid of similar events re-occurring in the future.  These fears may close us off from our full potential and can stunt our growth.  If we are too attached to producing a particular future outcome, we are not able to receive important lessons coming in from moment to moment, and more likely to create a thwarted future path that is not truly aligned with who we are and our life purpose. 

Similarly, if we are constantly planning in order to avoid the worst possible scenarios, we will lose touch with our inner wisdom and are bound to make ourselves anxious, depressed, and perhaps even physically ill.  The likelihood of fulfilling our own detrimental prophecy increases. 

Counseling can help heal old wounds by strengthening the core self and making it possible to re-experience and learn from the past without getting completely lost in it.  To prevent us from getting re-traumatized, our core self needs to partly remain in the present to remind us that the events have already passed and that we can choose to return to the present moment if needed. 

Ideally, we want to be able to learn from and not be bogged down by our past experiences for they can tell us what we really value and desire out of life.  Once we are confident in our ability to integrate past lessons with moment-to-moment input from the present, we will automatically design the most suitable future for ourselves and no longer feel a need to plan every step of the way.

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